I-Deologue

Having reached the milestones of age 23 by the Gregorian calendar, on May 20,2007, 1.01 pm, statistically I’ve completed almost 33% or one third of my expected longer lifespan as a woman. Statistically speaking that is. I could be 98% anytime.
My eldest brother of age 35 (sorry abang, don’t sue for the age privacy ) sent me a birthday card saying ’mudeee lagii’ and all my family n friends wishes me  good prosperity for my upcoming life. That is really sweet of everybody. But seeing all those scrawny drawings of my nieces on the bday card, which was really cute and adorable, made me think of something., that I’m at least 10 times the age of my nieces, whose average age are 2 years old. Wow. I’m that old. That fast.
    I still have vivid memories of my childhood, one was on my the morning of my tenth birthday, it was a school day, so in the car backseat, I pondered about me being a  10 year old, and even that time I feel that 10 is many, like a bunch of sticks used in the mathematics class. And 10 are like a decade. And in that 10 year old head with 2 ribbon ponytails did count that I’ll be like at least 10 years from university life, 14 years from working life, 15 years from marriage and 16 years perhaps from being a mother. Yeah I did think of that and I was really full of curiosity how will my life shaped then. And like a time machine, that 10 year old me was zapped into my current old self, and 13 years later, here I am being able to answer a few questions and held responsibility for how I did spend that statistically 33% of my life.
    If that 10 year old me started to ask what did I learn to manage myself, I can say at least proudly to her, that I learned to cook for myself and do laundries, and do my own bed, iron my own clothes, and decide my own fashion, tie my own shoes and learned how to tie a beautiful ribbon, pay my own bills, do my own shopping and groceries, yes pretty lame stuffs like that, which is so unthinkable for that spoilt 10 year me at that time.
    If she asked was I good, obedient to God and parents? I’ll say yes, I’m trying my best to enflowered my faith from time to time, and managed to do all the compulsory things like praying 5 times a day and fasting in Ramadhan. And I have loved my parents as much. But there were so many things that I regretted doing and also not doing, being I naïve teenager, so if I can advice her one thing, it would be always be wise and keep Allah near to heart always.
    If she started to ask what did I do to contribute to the society, I’ll be shameful then to say to her that I did nothing much yet, and I’ve been pretty selfish with my own leisure. But perhaps I can promise her that soon, I’ll be a compassionate doctor and with the trust I gained, I’ll help the society in whichever ways I can.
    If she started to ask am I satisfied with my life now and if there are things that I want to change, I’ll say that I cannot ask more. Yes if I compared my life to those who are more fortunate, I want to change everything, but it’s the less fortunate that we should be compared to, and seeing the hardships and sufferings in the poor countries, I just can’t ask more..
    And as a farewell bid, I’ll say, ‘ Dear little girl, don’t you worry much, it’ll be an exciting journey to look, feel and touch things, and the experiences that you’ll gained, however bitter and sweet, it’ll priceless, and neither money nor gold can buy those experiences!’

So maybe perhaps, this 23 year old me now, will be visiting a 60 year old me ? I’m sure if I live long enough, that’ll be just a blink of time. And more questions to answer for sure. ☺ 

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 19th, 2007 at 3:53 pm and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.